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Becoming Uncoming

Updated: Jan 9, 2020

The two-punch combo of growth.



Welcome (and bienvenidos)! I created this blog as a platform for sharing all things related to personal and professional growth. You can think of this as an access point to all the content, learnings, and tools I use in my coaching practice and training workshops, and it’s also a catch basin of insight into my own growth journey, philosophical explorations, and passions.


The nature of my writing is to unearth not just all that glitters in your life but also all that smells like shit. Lasting, meaningful growth demands that you get a little dirty, that you take on the disgust that comes with completing an unresolved past and with getting present to all the voices in your head (a friend of mine calls these voices the itty-bitty shitty committee, I think of them as sneaky little fuckers).


Whatever you call them, it’s this process that puts you into taking ownership of your life, all of it, instead of letting what’s hidden build up and jam the gears. This deep dive usually feels like an unraveling, some sort of moving backwards (and it is to some degree), which is how I arrived at the title of this post and the essence of this blog: Becoming Uncoming.


Lasting, meaningful growth demands that you get a little dirty...

Becoming refers to the process of change, the journey of aligning your actual self with your ideal self. Uncoming (a word you won’t find in any dictionary) represents the nature of this transformation process, where you have to strip down beliefs that no longer serve you and give up the strategies that used to help you maneuver through life but now only hold you back. It’s a sort of undoing as you dive into the chaos of your life.


I’ll stress again, this isn’t an easy process to be with as you discover the ways in which you’re not actually the friend, parent, sibling, boss, teammate, or partner you hope to be. That’s why this process is paired with the process of alignment: this coupling of becoming and uncoming is exactly what connects that type of friend, parent, or partner you want to be with the one you actually are. This is what fertilizes the soils of lasting growth.


Words from the wise

My posts are rooted in concepts from:


  • psychological research (particularly from clinical, positive, and social psychology);

  • my coaching and training workshops; and

  • my own lived experience


You’ll find a list of references at the end of each post (excluding this one) listing the sources I’ve cited. I prefer to cite the primary sources (the actual studies) so you can actually take a look at the research yourself, though I also cite secondary sources (like mainstream books published by researchers). These secondary sources still explain and cite original studies and are usually easier to digest without a research background.


What else is next?


I’ve always been curious as hell, the less-than-surprising feature of a lifelong learner. In addition to coaching, I’m usually engaged in one of my many other passions, from music, cooking, and travel to Spanish, nutrition, and physical activity.


At the moment, I’m training for a Half Ironman scheduled for the summer of 2020. First triathlon, in the dark as to what to expect, and I’m absolutely stoked. You can sure as hell expect to read more about this and the other passions I’ve mentioned above in the posts to come.


As for now, I hope you’ve been able to glean a general sense of what this blog is and who I am. To expand the discussion at any time feel free to comment below, drop me a line at 604-250-3880, send me an email at info@kylesheacoaching.com, or reach me here. In any case, may you take from this whatever there is for you to take on your journey in…into chaos, into growth, into yourself.


Onwards and inwards.


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